As if it was not bad enough that Robin Thicke and the whole jerk meets twerk foam finger fiasco footage is STILL being shown, Frank latched onto the tune way back when and will not let it go. Throughout the day, he bursts into the chorus of “Blurred Lines.” You know how it goes…
I know you want it.
I know you want it.
I know you want it.
However, he doesn’t sing the actual words. He inserts his own lyrics. Here are a few examples.
It’s healthy for you.
You just add water.
And then you eat it.
Get off the highway.
Or I will hit you.
And make you road kill.
I really want one.
Maybe for Christmas.
I’ve been a good boy.
Is making a noise.
It’s the compressor.
I’m going to fix it.
And, my personal favorite…
Fell in the bushes
Laughing my ass off
Quick, take a picture
For putting me through this unending serenade, I curse you Robin Thicke to spend twenty years in purgatory with a sober, and thus angry, Kathie Lee Gifford as your only companion.
Today’s guest is Teresa Tomb, the Artistic Director and Owner of
Mecca Live Studio & Gallery and co-director of Rakadu dance troupe. For the past fourteen years, Teresa has been peppering the Lexington downtown community with accessible art by facilitating community art projects, performances, and events. Local businesses, artists, musicians, and dancers have all collaborated. Mecca is regarded internationally as a place to come study cultural forms of dance. Its workshops have brought both students and renowned guest artists from around the world to Lexington. Teresa is also the Choreography Co-Director for March Madness Marching Band and the artistic director and co-founder for Stage 948, a summer camp of multiple disciplines: visual arts, music, theater, dance, creative writing.
This weekend you can see the magic that Mecca creates at 1001 Nights at Lyric Theatre featuring Mardi Love.
The Bourbonista: Tell me about yourself in 50 words or less. At least one word must begin with the letter “X” and none can begin with the letter “S.”
Teresa: Leo, cat lover, dancer, not Xactly what you might expect, love creating participatory community art, belly dancer, writer of things, delights in tasty experiences, delectable food, prohibition era cocktails, chicken whisperer, Mecca Dance (S)tudio, easy going, often timid and reclusive, and at times hilarious.
The Bourbonista: You speak chicken? I speak duck. I have a Mallard at the lake named Cheerios. In the summer, he comes by and quacks me awake every morning. He’s like a river rooster. But I’m horrified of chickens, for good reason. Did you know the chicken is the closest living relative of the tyrannosaurus-rex? Next question, If you were a circus performer, what would you be and why?
Teresa: Lion tamer, I got this. I understand their body language.
The Bourbonista: Me, too. If they roll over and show you their belly, they want you to rub it. If they lunge at you growling with their jaws opened and drool dripping, they want to eat you. Pretty accurate? Now, what would you do if you won the lottery?
Teresa: Do some extensive traveling and take friends with me.
The Bourbonista: Ooohhhh, let's start with India and then Scotland and then Spain and then Bali...wait, am I being presumptuous? So, if you were on death row…don’t act like you don’t know who you killed to get there…what would be your last supper?
Teresa: Something I cooked myself. Not because I am such a great cook, but I would like to have the ritual of cooking as well as eating my last supper. Most likely a beef filet that was marinated for a day then broiled in butter, steamed crab legs, and sauteed greens, red wine with dinner and bourbon before and after.
The Bourbonista: I'm just beginning to really cook, but since you seem to know your way around a kitchen, can I ask you a question? Can you go blind from cutting an onion. I chopped one at breakfast and my vision is still blurry and my eyes are still watering. But since I'm already teared up, I'll ask this next question since people's response always makes me emotional. If you were to write a short “Thank You” letter to your future self for all the cool shit you’ve done twenty years from now.
Thank you for your perspective on family, the one that goes beyond blood relation to include all those with whom you surround yourself. Thank you for your perspective on verbal and communicated language, the one that includes all forms of expression, body language, music, the all-consuming need to create something and be moved to tears by the stroke of a cello's bow. I am glad that you found refuge and comfort in expressing yourself outside of convention and that you would encourage others to live artistically human. I am also glad to see you still wear those sparkly earrings.
Love from, Teresa
The Bourbonista: The real day a woman dies is when she sets aside the sparkly and puts on the pearls. The fountain of youth is filled with glitter and sequins. Lastly, if you were a booze, which booze would you be and who would you want to drink you?
Teresa: Even though I am a bourbon girl, I would be a most delectable Sambuca sipped on by Benedict Cumberbatch while he reads “Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas” aloud. Sambuca is thicker, drunk slowly, and lingers in the mouth longer than bourbon. Sticking to that deep baritone throat, the warbling vocal chords...well, just imagine! (How’s that for an incredibly girlie answer? That one goes out to all the Cumberb*tches in the world!)
This Sunday, don’t miss the 2nd Annual rendition of 1001 Nights at the Lyric Theatre featuring Mardi Love! Mecca Studio weaves stories of fantasy, beauty, splendor and adventure through music and dance. Each year we approach 1001 Nights tales with fresh interpretations and a cast of many musicians and dancers from all over the country. This year we are ecstatic to host Mardi Love for this event. She will be joined by Lexington's Rakadu, The March Madness Marching Band, SuperKate, Aminata Cairo, Matt Elliott, Tripp Bratton, Jason Thompson, Alyssum Pohl,David Farris, Chris Sullivan, Ford Theatre Reunion and more!! The Lyric Theater & Cultural Arts Center is located at 300 E. 3rd Street in Lexington.
Doors open at 6:30pm.
Purchase tickets here: http://lexingtonlyric.tix.com/Event.asp?Event=611164
It's Hip Tip Tuesday. I learned this next one the hard way. Recently, I fell for the hype of the Tidy Cats LightWeight Litter. It is indeed light enough to juggle, but I don't need it for a circus act, I need it to keep my boat from smelling like ass, After only one day, it needed to be changed. I dumped it in a bag and headed to the trash to get rid of it. In the meantime, the meanest cat in town, Oscar Brown decided he couldn't wait to take a piss. I know he did it out of spite.
I grabbed a gallon of Clorox to clean it. The minute I poured, the litter box made a hissing noise and began to bubble and spew. Noxious fumes rose from the angry chemicals.
The realization struck me--cat urine is essentially ammonia. Bleach and ammonia are about as compatible as Anne Coulter and Michael Moore. The two together form ammonium chlorine, which was used as chemical warfare during World War I. Mother of God, I'd made Mustard Gas!
My skin started to itch. My eyes burned. I couldn't breathe. I felt dizzy and nauseated. Hell, no, I was not about to go down like that.
Holding my breath, I ran outside and looked for a place to toss the box. I couldn't dispose of the toxins in the lake. My turtles were in there. I opted to just run up the abandoned dock and leave it as far from the boat as possible. I took several deep, deep breaths to clean my lungs. Then I went straight back and Googled, "Bleach and Ammonia, help." I felt a little relieved to find hundreds of search results. If people had perished from the poison they couldn't be commenting on About.com. I found a link as to what to do if you'd been exposed.
I’d already disposed of the chemicals and made certain to breathe fresh air. I was typing, which meant I wasn’t unconscious. That was a good sign. As instructed, I opened all the windows and washed the affected areas. I read on and found out that though death is rare, exposure can cause long term respiratory problems and massive cellular damage. As if my lifestyle hadn't already caused enough cellular damage.
It’s been two weeks since the incident and I’m breathing easy. But, cleaning a cat box with bleach is a mistake I will never make again.
Groovy image is from Cheezburger.com.
the bourbonistA, Promoting Debauchery and stamping out political-correctness one blog at a time.