Now, in the past, I have gotten some snazzy gifts including:
An Etch-a-Sketch portrait of my favorite childhood photo.
A cooking class on how to make salads…seems a little oxymoronic, but it was great.
My complete astrological chart.
A donkey…and not just any donkey, but a retired basketball playing donkey.
But my absolute favorite is the tool set that Frank bought me when I turned 45. It wasn’t one of those condescending pink ones specifically made for women that contain little more than a worthless miniature hammer, dainty Phillips screwdriver, and flimsy tape measure. Nothing is more annoying than when halfway through the job, your tape measure goes all limp and worhless…except perhaps when a penis does it. This was a real three drawer Kobalt tool chest filled with goodies. I'll be honest...I don't even know what some of the tools are for. But, I plan to find out. I vow, within the next year, to use everything in those drawers.
I may not be able to build an actual house, but I bet I could build one hell of a birdhouse.The sharp scissors will come in handy if I temporarily lose my mind again and decide I need to cut bangs. And, I can use the level to hang some art, even though it’s a little difficult to use on a rocking boat. And, the box cutter will serve as a great weapon if I ever need to defend myself against Burgin’s criminal element. And I can use my channel locks and screw to open a wine bottle. And, one day, I am going to ratchet the hell out of whatever it is you ratchet. In my book, a Kobalt portable tool chest is a Must Have.