It’s National Chocolate Cake Day! Let’s celebrate with this super simple, scrumptious Slow Cooker Chocolate Cake with a Walnut Bourbon Butter Sauce.
First, open your bourbon. I suggest taking periodic shots throughout the cooking process, so both you and the pot will be crocked. Get it…crock pot…anyway.
Next, remember to spray your slow cooker with nonstick cooking spray or it will be a bitch to clean. Trust me, I learned this the hard way.
Now, whip up your Batter:
1 cup baking mix of the Bisquick variety.
½ cup sugar
3 tablespoons unsweetened cocoa.
½ cup milk
1 teaspoon vanilla
Mix until as smooth as slow jazz and pour in slow cooker.
Next, make the Magic Pudding Concoction:
½ cup sugar
1/3 cup cocoa
1 2/3 cup HOT water.
Mix it up. Pour it over batter. Avoid the urge to stir. Trust in the magic.
Turn it on HIGH, leave it for three hours. Take some time to yourself. Paint your toe nails. Write in your journal. Watch Sixteen Candles for the one hundred and sixteenth time. What can I say? I heart Jake Ryan.
Serve with Smack-Your-Mama Walnut Bourbon Butter Sauce:
1 cup toasted walnut pieces.
1/2 cup butter
2/3 cup granulated sugar
2 tablespoons bourbon
1/2 teaspoon freshly-grated nutmeg
2 tablespoons water
1 egg, beaten
Melt butter, stir in other ingredients, thicken. Pour over cake.
If you’re feeling especially bold, add a big dollop of vanilla ice cream. Take a bite and settle in for a cakegasm of epic proportions. Warning: Moaning may be so loud that it makes your neighbors blush. Enjoy.
This is the story of a raccoon, rash, and reclamation. Two nights ago, we heard scurrying and squeaking and deduced a raccoon had made our attic its winter vacation home. We decided to venture up and set a trap. So, we filled the humane cage with obstacles and marshmallows--according the the experts, these adorable, rabies-laden creatures love a challenge and spongy, sugar snacks.
When I climbed the rickety ladder and emerged into the dark and drafty space, I discovered the entire room was blanketed in ivy. It looked like a C.S. Lewis novel come to life. I wanted to run to the center, throw myself in the plush greenery, and roll around until a unicorn galloped up and carried me into a magical kingdom where I would reign eternal as Queen. Then, I realized it wasn't ivy at all, but poison oak. I started itching immediately. I backed down the ladder and called Frank who then called Horse. Horse is Frank's "neck-down-man," which means he hires him for jobs that require no activity from the tonsils up. Horse's tale is one of pride, a pistol, and prison, but that's a whole different blog.
Long story short, I decided we might as well clean out the attic while we were at it. Here is a list of the mysterious items I found lurking amidst the toxicodendron diversilobum:
Three vaccuum cleaners--we have all hard wood floors.
A set of electric crackling logs--we don't have a wood fireplace.
A box of tarnished silver--I must have deemed it valuable enough to keep, but not enough to polish.
An entire box of casserole dishes--I only make three casseroles. Follow this link to my fave.
Three boxes of files with labels such as: Bank Statements 2002 and Hot Fall Looks 2005.
Some piece of furniture still in the original packing.
Several items that Frank snuck in and hid including a UK corn hole set, drums, and steer horns.
And, the beloved chocolate fountain that I last saw five years ago after a Christmas party. Today, I have reclaimed the ability to supply the masses with flowing chocolate goodness. It is a grand Friday, indeed. Huzzah!
the bourbonistA, Promoting Debauchery and stamping out political-correctness one blog at a time.