Do you remember the episode from Seinfeld where Elaine buys the entire case of sponges. I, too, may be guilty of that, except my sponges are not of the contraceptive variety. They are of the cleaning variety. I am obsessed with The Magic Eraser. So much so that I am putting together an entire performance piece entitled “Grime” where I will lash erasers to each boob, both butt cheeks, and my Snazzy (yes, that’s what I call it) and then roll around on some filthy surface thus creating art. I just need of a Kickstarter campaign to fund it.
How did this love come about? Recently, Frank and I moved in with my best friend, Kyle. Frank and I are not complete slobs, but compared to him we might as well be dwelling in a trash can on Sesame Street. He washes a plate as soon as he’s finished eating from it. He never throws his clothes in the floor. They go straight to the hamper. And, he wipes out the sink every time he brushes his teeth. I, on the other hand, have been known to do dishes in the shower if I was running short on time, have disguised a pile of clothes by throwing a blanket over it and calling it a dog bed, and sometimes just swallow the toothpaste spit so I don’t have to clean the sink.
Enter the Magic Eraser, a water-activated sponge that claims “you just wet it under the tap and then swipe away the dirt and grime and grease and whatever else you can find.” It doesn't lie. This bad boy can clean anything with very little effort including tub scum, Doc dog dirt from the wall where he lies and leaves an outline, and red lipstick stains from all the places I leave them...don't ask. ! Now, I think Mr. Clean is the sexiest bald man alive...aside from Patrick Stewart, of course.
*On a side note...apparently you should not let young children play with them. When I was Googling images, I kept finding these sad-faced, raw-skinned tots who had run-ins with the eraser. It made me laugh, but should make probably make parents cautious
the bourbonistA, Promoting Debauchery and stamping out political-correctness one blog at a time.