CHRISTMAS LIST - 2013
My name is Donna Ison. I am 45 years old. Though good is a relative term, I can say that, despite my colorful flaws, I have finally accepted my true nature as good and know I deserve good things in life. Therefore...
1) A magical writing sweater that when worn allows me to produce endless brilliance effortlessly. Any color will do, though red brings out my eyes.
2) The willpower to lose the 40 pounds I've gained over the past five years.
3) A three-toed sloth. I will take excellent care of him. And with our new property, he'll have plenty of trees to climb.
4) For every human being to feel loved and blessed and beautiful far more often than not.
5) Which brings me to this. When the time comes, please let me die before Frank. I just don't think I could go on without him. This is probably more of a God request, huh? I'll pray about it too, but I just wanted to cover my bases.
6) Which reminds me...though I don't need one yet, and I am taking Milk Thistle, as a precaution, you might want to put an elf on the task of building me a new liver. Blood type - O Positive.
On that note, I left you a jigger of Old Fitz to wash down the cookies. And, a carrot for Rudolph.
You be careful out there. It's a mad, mad world.
And because you have all been good boys and girls this year, as well, Santa is giving you a kindle copy of "The Miracle of Myrtle: Saint Gone Wild" for FREE. Dec.22-26.
the bourbonistA, Promoting Debauchery and stamping out political-correctness one blog at a time.