After I put up this picture as my new profile on Facebook, a very sweet friend from Middle School posted a comment that made my toes curl, blood curdle, and sent me running to change it.
She said the following: "You look so much like your mama in this pic!!!"
I think the rant below from the Sisters Provocateur show, “Nightmares in Negligee” will explain. Let me set the scene. We are reenacting the game “Bloody Mary” where you close your eyes, turn around three times saying “Bloody Mary,” then you open them and look in a mirror. The vision of Mary Worth, a witch who was disfigured and then burned at the stake will be staring back. I turn three times, look in the mirror, and scream like I’ve been stabbed in the eye with a hot poker.
Sunny: What happened? Did you see Bloody Mary?
I saw my mother.
Her name is also Mary
And it was fucking scary.
She keeps showing up in the glass
And terrorizing my ass.
At first I assumed I was being haunted...
But that couldn't be...Mom is not dead.
She’s living in a retirement community in Florida instead.
So, why is SHE
Staring back at me?
It hits me like a ten ton stone,
That reflection is my own!
I have become a middle-aged crone.
When did I go from ravishing to ravaged?
From sexy to savage.
Dark circles beneath the eyes,
Cellulite on my thighs.
Upper arms wagging.
Crows feet reaching toward graying temples,
Both ass cheeks covered in dimples.
I know that I am supposed to age with grace,
Accept each wrinkle on my face,
This petrifying process.
But if you want the truth,
I would kill to get back my youth.
I would take Lady Bathory’s path,
And pour virgin’s blood into my bath,
If it would flatten this stomach and smooth this skin,
And let me look like twenty-six again.
I know it's pathetic,
But, I don’t care.
So, don’t you dare,
Let your chaste and pure daughters out in the dark.
For I will snatch them and drain them dead,
Then, pour their liquid red,
Into my tub and soak in it like Calgon.
But instead of asking it to “Take me away,”
I’ll beg it to “Take me back.”
the bourbonistA, Promoting Debauchery and stamping out political-correctness one blog at a time.