For Today's Tête-à-Tête Thursday, we are stirring things up by throwing a big beaker of testosterone in the mix. Let's meet the first man not afraid to join in some Bourbonista Banter. Welcome Kenny Soward.
In his own words, "I grew up in Crescent Park, Kentucky, a small suburb just south of Cincinnati, Ohio, listening to AC/DC, Quiet Riot, and Iron Maiden. In those quiet 1970’s streets, I jumped bikes, played Nerf football, and acquired many a childhood scar.
At the age of sixteen, I learned to play drums, and did so with a passion. I bashed skins for many groups over the next twenty years, and my musical tastes grew to include folk, alternative, bluegrass, and new age. By day, I work as a Unix professional, and at night I write and sip bourbon.
ROUGH MAGIC is my first high fantasy novel, Book I of the GnomeSaga. I live in Independence, Kentucky, with three cats and a gal who thinks she’s a cat."
The Bourbonista: Tell me more about yourself. But this time, at least one word must begin with the letter “X” and none can begin with the letter “S.”
Kenny: I’m a child of the 70’s. Big Wheels, rock music, and Tang. I was there when Garanimals hit the scene, although I’ve never owned a Xenopus. Now, I’m a (mostly) cloistered fantasy writer who enjoys hanging out with my partner, Michele, and entertaining our cats.
The Bourbonista: I am a complete proponent of Garanimals for adults. It would save me so much trouble trying to explain to Frank the difference between Infits (clothes never meant to leave the house) and Outfits. I call his style "Rodeo Clown Chic." Speaking of dressing like a clown, if you were a circus performer, what would you be and why?
Kenny: Definitely a lion. I’d only take so much shit before having the trainer for a meal.
The Bourbonista: I'll be an angry elephant and join you. We can go on one of those rampages that gets you on that show When Animals Attack. What would you do if you won the lottery?
Kenny: I’m a firm believer in more money equals more problems. Still, I’d set myself up to write full-time and continue self-publishing, because it’s a blast. Whatever windfall I received from self-publishing would go into building a bourbon room in my house that would put the Old Kentucky Bourbon Bar to shame.
I would give a ton of money to local animal shelters.
I would go to Kickstarter and fund the hell out of cool projects.
The Bourbonista: So, when that day comes, how about I join you in your liquor lounge and shoot for funding for my Floating Pepperoni Pizza barge that is going to deliver pies all around the lake? On the topic of food, if you were on death row…don’t act like you don’t know who you killed to get there…what would be your last supper?
Kenny: I’d start with a small plate of ahi tuna, set off nicely with a Woodford on the rocks. I would transition to a 12-ounce filet mignon (refill my Woodford please) and a side of mashed potatoes. Lastly, I’d have an endless supply of pizza rolls, baked until the filling is just starting to squish out the sides, and jam my face full of them until I couldn’t eat any more.
Should I happen to get sick prior to my demise, I’d want to make sure the pool of vomit I leave for my jailors is a veritable colorchunka-palooza.
The Bourbonista: Revenge is a dished best served regurgitated. I get it! Write a short “Thank You” letter to your future self for all the cool shit you’ve done twenty years from now.
Dear Sir Kensington,
Lord knows you’ve been an imbecile at times, but it looks like you got a few things right. It’s amazing how you took gnomes to a whole new level in your GnomeSaga books and eventually made a splash with dwarves and fairies too.
Too bad your 50 Shades of Little Folk didn’t sell so well. To each their own.
You did right by your friends and made your parents proud, and you paid homage to all the people who have ever influenced you by writing continuously and faithfully.
Now, quit fucking around on Dead Island: Zombie Inferno 2033 and get back to work.
p.s. Congratulations on your knighthood. Don’t let it go to your head.
The Bourbonista: First let me say how much I am loving your first Gnome Saga book...brilliant. And next, may I request that you consider getting one of your artist friends to join you and make 50 Shades of Little Folk a Graphic Novel? Now, on to more serious topics, if you were a booze, which booze would you be and who would you want to drink you?
Kenny: Best question ever. I would be an Irish Car Bomb and I would want Billie Piper from Doctor Who to slam me.
Make sure to head on over to Amazon and grab a copy of Kenny's first novel, Rough Magic.
It gets a BIG Bourbonista thumbs up.
And while your there, pick up a FREE download of Flirtini with Disaster: The Single Girl's Guide to Self-Sabotage.
the bourbonistA, Promoting Debauchery and stamping out political-correctness one blog at a time.