For this edition of Tête-à-Tête Thursday, we'll have a little Bourbonista banter with Cynthia Ellingsen, a Lexington local and Penguin-Berkley author of The Whole Package, about three women who open a restaurant staffed by smokin’ hot, scantily clad men, and Marriage Matters, which just hit the shelves.This latest novel is the hilarious story of a mother, daughter and grandmother who all get engaged at the same time and decide to share a wedding.
The Bourbonista: Tell me about yourself in 50 words or less. At least one word must begin with the letter “X” and none can begin with the letter “S.”
Cynthia: A Midwest girl who watched that Dead Poet’s movie 3000+ times and as a result, is most xenial to the idea that anything is possible if you follow your heart.
The Bourbonista: 3000+ times...whoa...I thought having seen Young Frankenstein 50 times made me a megafan. I'm a total amateur. But I think maybe I could watch Wreck-It Ralph 3000 times---it's my new obsession. Enough about me, so If you were a circus performer, what would you be and why?
Cynthia: Ringmaster. Put a microphone in my hand and I’m Rita Rudner, Bill Cosby and Dave Chapelle all rolled into one. Or maybe I’m just like a four-year-old repeating the same answer to a knock-knock joke. Hard to tell.
The Bourbonista: I am so buying one of those Ronco Mister Microphones, so that the next time I see you I can just hand it over and watch you go. Moving on, what would you do if you won the lottery?
Cynthia: Hoard the ticket, worry someone was going to rob me, pull the ticket out to look at it, worry that someone was looking in the windows when I did, decide to get creative with my hiding spot, bury the ticket in the backyard and not be able to find it.
The Boubonista: How about this, then? You just give me the ticket and I'll bury it for you...wink...wink... Let's get serious, if you were on death row…don’t act like you don’t know who you killed to get there…what would be your last supper?
Cynthia: Cheetos – probably the natural kind with the white cheddar because the texture is way better, but maybe the original for kicks – washed down with a California Cab.
The Bourbonista: If you ate Cheetos before you committed the crime, then that tells me how they caught you. That is some orange evidence to leave behind on someone's neck. I just assumed you choked a man to death. Now, if you were to write a short “Thank You” letter to your future self for all the cool shit you’ve done twenty years from now, what would it say?
Dear Old Lady Cynthia,
Oooh, goodie. You’re an old lady now.
Thank you so much for making our life an adventure – that summer we helped hatchling turtles scamper to the ocean? So fun. That year we spent in Italy, writing in a castle, eating olives off the vine and drinking wine like water? Favoloso. And now, living the life of Mrs. Basil E. Franweiler? So proud.
Thank you for letting me come along for the ride, you fun old bat.
Lots of love, Younger Version of Cynthia
The Bourbonista: I want to do all those things, can I join? I promise I won't behave and I'll be a fun old bat right along with you. We can even get matching tattoos on our saggy asses. So, if you were a booze, which booze would you be and who would you want to drink you?
Cynthia: I’d be that glass of wine on the cover of The Whole Package. That way, I could be a part of the party every time someone picked up the book.
Need a laugh? Grab a glass of wine, a box of chocolate and grab a copy of Marriage Matters, stat. You won’t be sorry. Except maybe if you drink too much wine.
the bourbonistA, Promoting Debauchery and stamping out political-correctness one blog at a time.