So, last night I took the dogs on an impromptu play date. As usual, Doc Grizzly was charming, laid back, and polite, and Rufus was…well…Rufus. This is why I will take this time to apologize to Sophie, the adorable Schnauzer that was terrorized by my Tyranarufus Rex. He doesn’t mean to be bad. Rufus is loving and well-meaning, but loud, rowdy, and could break an anvil. Like Daddy, Like Doggy.
When we first arrived at their house, I had to warn poor Travis to grab all of the candles before Rufus took them out with his tail of fury and burned the place down. While we were removing all fire hazards, Rufus discovered Sophie’s toy box. He proceeded to remove all of her beloved stuffed squeakies while she stood by, horrified, with Doc trying to distract and comfort her. After slobbering on the whole lot, Rufus finally settled on a purple rabbit. He then proceeded to trot room to room, like one of Barker’s Beauties, to show his invisible audience what he had procured. When I told him it wasn’t his, he dropped to the ground and ripped its ear off, then looked at me like “It’s broken. She won’t want it now.” Last week, in a similar incident, I caught Frank absconding to the sun room with the bowl of Trick or Treat candy. Before I could scream, “That’s not for you,” he had ripped the wrappers on three bars. “But they’re opened. We can’t give away opened candy." Like Daddy, Like Doggy.
When we were leaving, Rufus decided he was just going to nonchalantly stroll out with his new bunny bestie still in his mouth.
“Rufus, look at me. Is that yours?”
Duck, sheepish expression, avoid eye contact, just keep moving toward the door.
“Rufus, look at me.”
Eyes dart all around the room, ceiling, floor, everywhere but toward me.
“Rufus, this doesn’t work for your father, and it won’t work for you. Now, look at me. Is that your bunny? No. Drop that rabbit!”
Pitiful, put-upon, poor poor puppy. Mean, mean Mommy. Big brown eyes. So…sigh…sad.
“Travis, can he keep the bunny? I’ll buy Sophie another one. Stop gloating, beast, let’s go to the car.”
Triumph. Bliss. She may act like a badass, but she can’t turn me down or tell me no. She loves me too much. I win. I win. Wag. Pant. I win.
Like Doggy, Like Daddy.
the bourbonistA, Promoting Debauchery and stamping out political-correctness one blog at a time.