When you live at the lake, which Frank and I will be doing full time come January, you face certain annoying issues and concerns that don't plague you when you live on dry land and within city limits. I like to call these Lake People Problems.
Here are just a few:
1) The damn otters defecated on my freshly-painted hooch stand last night.
2) Frank got drunk and staggered into the antique lure display and hooked a Hula Popper through his eyebrow.
3) The trickle charger got wet when the hull flooded and now we can’t flush the toilet.
4) Fuck! A block of frozen bluegill fell out of the freezer and broke my big toe.
5) The propane tank ran out, but it’s 6:15PM on a Sunday, so everything for a forty mile radius is closed.
6) Crap, I was only three grommets away from getting the skirting hung and ran out of zip ties.
7) My turtle perch is waterlogged.
8) Splash! Shit! Somebody else miscalculated and stepped between the boat and slip. I hope they’re not dead.
9) They let the dam out and now the parking lot is under water with my car still in it.
10) Dinner was served…until a sudden storm blew in and took my meal with it. I hope the alligator gar like fillet mignon.
11) Libby is back in prison, so the local yokel Steve will be coming around again showing us dead headless snakes.
But even with all of these insane inconveniences, I love being a Bourbonista on a Boat.
the bourbonistA, Promoting Debauchery and stamping out political-correctness one blog at a time.