My muse is back with a barbed wire neck tattoo, spear purchased from a Comanche Medicine Man, duffel bag full of stolen towels from the Niagara Falls' Stardust Inn, and a vengeance. Apparently, while attending Comic-Con, she met the woman of her dreams (they share a mutual obsession of The Hunger Games), and took off on a cross country jaunt in her motorized Off-the-Grid Tiny House trailer. They stayed in campsites and Walmart parking lots. They spent their blissful days drinking tequila; Freegan eating out of dumpsters; doing naked yoga, and communing with a coven of Wichita witches. After an argument over Fleetwood Mack, they parted ways at the Falls, and she hitchhiked the rest of the way home with a long haul trucker carrying Texas Longhorn cattle. They pulled into town last night at midnight.
Yep, she's back, manic as hell, with tons of ideas and demands. She wants me to write a historical horror about Lady Bathory, a mini series about the birth of bourbon, a play about my time as a gogo dancer, an Urban Fantasy about disco werebears, a political satire called Art Zombie about undeserved fame in our society, a retrospective show with the Sisters Provocateur, a poem to celebrate puberty, a KFW grant proposal for the “Why Settle for Princess When You Can Be Queen” project, and a series of Creative Nonfiction about my drunken exploits.
I asked, “How am I supposed to accomplish this word proliferation AND be the editor of skirt! Magazine, manage Frank's new heating, air, refrigeration business, take care of seven pets, lose thirty pounds, and keep both a house and a boat clean?”
She replied,”Don't know. Don't care. Not my problem. I'm just here to supply the inspiration. It's up to you to write.”
“What if I don't?”
“Then I'll stab you with my new sacred spear. It's magic. It won't leave lethal injuries or show any visible marks, but it will hurt like hell.”
So, if you don't see me for the next year or so, you know where I'll be...WRITING.
the bourbonistA, Promoting Debauchery and stamping out political-correctness one blog at a time.