_ (08/04/2009) Being alone, on this dark and dreary afternoon, I'm just not feeling quite my spunky and funky self, but I have tricks up my sleeve to combat the rainy day blues.
1) Throw a Private Dance Party.
I personally prefer to crank up the stereo, strip down to my underwear, and accessorize with a feather boa, but I guess you could keep your clothes on. In my repertoire of songs for today's dancarama are:
It's Raining Men by: The Weather Girls
Dancing in the Moonlight by: Toploader
About a Girl by: The Academy Is...
Last Christmas by: Cascada--Yes, I know it's August, but I was the kid who made Eddie, the organist at The Steak House, sing Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer all year round. Some songs are good enough to be seasonless.
2) Make yourself a hot toddy and get cozy from the inside out.
Hot Buttered Rum
1 teaspoon powdered sugar
1/2 cup boiling water
1/4 cup rum
1 Tablespoon butter
Freshly grated nutmeg
3) Pen a love...or rather LUST letter to someone forbidden that you know you'll never send...the more graphic the better.
4) Masturbate...the above letter should give you all the inspiration you need.
5) Write all of your sins on your body in lipstick and then stand naked in the deluge and let the water wash them away, leaving you clean and free to start sinning anew.
Start back at #1 and repeat until the sun returns. Feel free to borrow any of these remedies, though they have not been approved by the AMA.
(06/01/2012) What a difference three years makes. Back then, I was so prone to boredom that there were times I would march around the house banging two pots together just to break the silence. But after the monumental events, chaos, and challenges of this past year, I am thrilled to be at home on this rainy day…alone…with no noise, no drama, and nothing to do but sit here and write a few words. I still love a good solo dance party, and have added I'm Not Gonna' Teach Your Boyfriend How to Dance with You by The Black Kids to my play list. I’m fatter so I don’t get cold as easy, and can therefore substitute a glass of Merlot for a hot toddy. Though I still love the thought of writing a raunchy lust letter to some forbidden fellow, for the first time in my life, I don’t want anyone other than the man I’m with (Go ahead throw up in your mouth a little, I know you want to). Masturbation…still enjoyable, but I’m getting the real thing way more often, so it’s not as necessary as it was back then. As for writing my sins on my body…I’ve stopped believing in sin in any traditional sense. I now deem SIN as Self Inflicted Nonsense like self- loathing, jealousy, unwarranted fear, shame, guilt, inhibition…the feelings that stand in the way of joy, love, peace, and success. Those are what we need to be delivered from. But, I still may put on some red lipstick and go stand naked in the rain...or better yet combine Remedy 1 and 5 and dance nude in the deluge. That should shock the neighbors.
the bourbonistA, Promoting Debauchery and stamping out political-correctness one blog at a time.